as you go

this week, i'm taking a workshop class at nobts and it meets everyday for a week so i've been staying on campus this week. most everyone commutes to campus on a regular basis so, needless to say, campus is pretty dead at night. to make it even more exciting, the dorms don't have internet access, so i've been sitting in the student center all evening skeefing internet.. there are probably much more productive things i could be doing but.. meh.

to make it feel like i'm at least accomplishing something, since i can't really relax in the comfort of my own room/home, i've been watching videos from a q&a session on theological topics with greg boyd, mostly. a few of them, he was joined by paul eddy. anyhow, it's been interesting to see their take on some of the key theological questions that face us everyday, and have plagued our churches for centuries. many of the questions are easily answered when we stop taking the bible out of context and begin to read it as an entire work.. an entire work revealing the character of God. individual passages (mostly because they are stripped of context) do not offer us the entire picture.. they provide only a glimpse at who God truly is. imagine looking at God through as clear of a picture as we can possibly get, using all of Scripture, rather than through a magnifying glass, only using a single passage or small group of passages to overanalyze a point to death.. the entire time, not ever having an accurate understanding of the nature of God as a whole. how much more beneficial and worthwhile it would be to actually worship God based on how He has revealed Himself to us through creation and through Scripture!

btw.. i guess i should add, if anyone has any questions about specific issues or what i'm talking about, i'd love to dialogue with you and point you toward any and all resources i know on the issue. in fact, thats precisely what we as Christians are called to do.. share our faith, whether to believers or unbelievers. our faith and humility before God should always be on constant display.

the course i'm taking this week is "church evangelism" and tomorrow, we're going into the gentilly area (the neighborhood just around campus) and witness to people, using something as simple as a 9v battery for their smoke detectors as a starting point for much more meaningful dialogue about the salvation and grace found in Jesus Christ. it should be an interesting, but very rewarding and humbling experience. i pray that God will use our efforts not only as an educational tool, but also to make a difference in the lives of the people we will come into contact with, as well as making a difference in our own lives.. causing us to have a greater appreciation for God's people in order that we would share the incredible news of the Gospel much more often and much more passionately!

...so i never intended this blog to be a preaching tool or whatever, but thats where God wanted it to go tonight it seems. aside from all that i've just shared, life is going great. there are a lot of exciting trips and events coming up this summer that i'm really eager for. we've been working a lot on the vbs skit and i'm really excited about it. it came together very last minute, but i think its coming together extremely well! then theres the college trip to daytona, worship leader conference in kansas city, family vacation to boston, and a potential trip to lexington to visit a good friend. prior to the daytona trip, there may be the opportunity for a few of us college aged students to do a missions project for a week prior in florida. hopefully it will all come together, but more on that later.

farewell friends. much love.

-- trenticus

reality check

I haven't updated this in quite a while.. I think it was largely due to the fact that I kept waiting for certain circumstances to turn a corner so I could post the exciting news on here for all of you to enjoy.. but alas, things never quite turn out the way I plan or hope they will. this time around, however, God has really been working in my life in an incredible way to provide me with a very healthy dose of perspective.. a reality check if you will.

I've found myself, throughout life, and especially with respect to a recent situation, wanting and trying to make my will into God's will, rather than the other way around.. even when I'm praying about the strength, guidance, etc. to follow His will, its hard to do so when you ignore His answers in favor of what you want His answers to be. I so badly wanted this to be His will and I focused so heavily on doing everything I could do to make that happen.. rather than giving it up to Him, like He continually instructed me to do. ultimately, I was just prolonging the inevitable.

about a week and a half ago now, during Wed. night youth worship, we were playing "From the Inside Out".. I've sang that song a thousand times (for those of you who know the song, the pun was definitely intended haha) but it never really hit me like it did that night. I guess, in some respects, I was going through the motions on that song as well. But on this night, I was singing harmonies and we got to the line "your will above all else, my purpose remains. the art of losing myself, in bringing your praise.." and I had to step away from the mic because I honestly couldn't sing those words because I knew it hadn't been true in my own life for some time, especially with respect to certain situations, like I said. for the rest of the service and the days to come, I really focused on that becoming my prayer.. allowing God's will to be my purpose above all else, regardless of how difficult it might be to accept.. He's known best all along. I can look back at situations in my life that were even much more difficult and much harder to see the silver lining in.. yet, He's always known best. He's brought me through all of it because eventually, I trusted Him with all those situations. So, why not do it sooner? That became my focus. His will, regardless.

from that, God began working on my life, giving me a much greater peace in the midst of a difficult situation to understand. I still don't necessarily understand why things never really worked out the way I hoped they would have, but I trust that God has a very legitimate reason and I'm trusting Him for that.

this Thursday night though was put into overdrive with God revealing a proper perspective on life in general to me. Bro. Dickie spoke on Ecclesiastes 1, which focuses on "everything is meaningless.. there is nothing new under the sun.." Picking songs for such a sermon led to "I Will Rise" (there's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail, there's an anchor for my soul, I can say it is well), "Rescue" (this world has nothing for me, I will follow You), and "Honestly" (honestly I'm figuring out that of all that I have, all that I need is you).. (side note: apparently Carl Cartee never had an English lesson on not using the word "that" in a sentence.. look at that (lol) last line again.. wow.. 3 that's..) ...anywho... those songs in and of themselves, along with the message, were humbling enough already to really put me in a proper place..

but then a group of us went by Doug Goudeau's house afterward.. this man has been so faithful in our church for several years, was extremely involved in Scouts,.. always full of energy and life and never missed a Sunday if he could help it. Mr. Doug was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and has been on a long downward spiral ever since. long story short, the night before he was able to leave the hospital and come home to be under hospice care (i.e., to die peacefully in his own home).. I went over there with the rest of the group as moral support for the family, but I never was that close to Mr. Doug or anything so I honestly didn't feel like it'd be that tough on me. I also can't remember the last time (before then) that I've genuinely cried over a situation....

but I started bawling and I honestly couldn't help it. I felt so heartbroken over the situation, not only because I saw the faith and resolve his family and his kids still had despite the situation, but it was also such a stark reminder of how petty the stresses in my life really are.. here there father is holding onto every last breath he possibly can, yet they're remaining faithful and here i am worrying about petty things and getting frustrated with God over things not working out the way I wanted them to. it was just a very humbling reality check.. a much needed refresher of perspective on everything in life. I'm constantly reminded (by this situation, the Chaz Wilburn situation a few years back, and others) of the faith that people have despite their crappy situation.. these people are far less fortunate than I am, yet they are so blessed because they are so faithful. Its a really selfish feeling when you finally realize that whats been on your mind the past week they'd give a million dollars to have that easy of a week, yet they deal with the hand they've been dealt, rely on God and follow Him.. regardless.

God, help those words to be true in my life.. that I can honestly say "Your will above all else, my purpose remains." Help me to trust You.. to serve You.. to follow You wherever You may lead, however difficult it may be to accept, however unclear it might be at the time.. to follow Your will, regardless. Amen.

here we go again

today starts my second semester at seminary.. and if you read my post right before last semester started about chapters in life, i believe a new one is beginning to unfold.. and that makes me really excited!

last semester ended really well.. i'm still waiting on one more grade to come in (i know, crazy right?!) but i currently have a 3.67 on the semester (only B i've made so far was in greek, old testament turned out to be an A - that was the class i was "worried" about the most).. so i'll def keep y'all updated when that last grade comes in.

the gatlinburg ski trip with the live oak college group was amazing! we had soo much fun.. it snowed the whole week before we got there so there was a really good base for skiing & then it snowed the 2nd day we were there so skiing was just great all around! we went on a hike to a waterfall one day.. we never made it to the waterfall per say haha.. but it was incredible! there was snow everywhere and the group that went on the hike really bonded from it all.. we went ice skating one day and that was just a lot of fun all around..

2009: A Year in Review

so when i used to have my xanga, every year i'd post a yearly recap of memories, fun times, sad times, lessons learned, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences that happened over the past year.. i haven't done one since 2006 (i believe) so i'm attempting to rekindle a tradition.. its always nice to look back on the year.. and to also have the recap to look back on later.

the only thing i've found with respect to the lessons learned aspect is that you can't ever really have an unbiased recap since your perspective on an issue is based on your current state of affairs and could easily change in a matter of weeks, months, years. but without further ado, here is "2009: A Year in Review"

** after graduating college, i soon realized the "real world" wasn't all its cracked up to be. my hard earned diploma was barely worth the ink and tree pulp it was printed on.

** searching for a job in politics led me to searching for any job i could possibly take.. any job that would get my feet wet/in the door and make some connections. i sent out literally thousands of resumes, all to have maybe a 1/3 of those even responded to. some people were friendly, most places weren't hiring, and one guy was a complete douchebag. (see my post on 2.11.09 entitled "happiness is a warm smoking gun" for more info on that)

** because of these situations, i found myself at the bottom of the barrel having a great deal of concerns, anxiety, etc. so i really started passionately praying for God to do something.. show me an open door.. show me where else i could apply, etc.

** in doing so, God showed me that i had been focusing on what i thought i wanted for my life, not what He wanted for my life, so i started praying for guidance in following His will and thats when i felt Him calling me to the ministry/to start studying at seminary

** did some substitute teaching mostly at denham freshman high, but also some at dshs and also lohs.. hope to never have to do it again. the kids were horribly disrespectful and the pay was definitely not worth it. but it did tie me over while i looked for a more permanent job.

** moved a good friend up to kentucky indefinitely.. which was pretty tough, not knowing when/if she'd ever be moving back, how the friendship would be affected by it all, and mostly, just not having that person to hang out with on a very regular basis.. we've stayed in contact though (def not as much as we used to be but.. enough to keep the friendship alive and still a part of each others lives)

** church hopped for the longest time (about a year in total.. may 08 to around may 09) and never felt connected anywhere i went. i started attending Christ's Community pretty regularly because my parents were/are members there and i even helped them start up a mid-week youth service.. but i never felt like that was my home.

** all in God's timing, i got contacted about coming back to live oak methodist to play bass in the 1130 band and i'm so glad i accepted. things have been going great at loumc and i've gotten extremely involved (even moreso than when i was there originally).. playing bass at 1130, helping lead music for the thursday night service, about to start helping lead music for the youth, playing 4 songs in the V-Day Banquet, and a ton of other stuff. i've gotten to be really close friends with a lot of great people who i never really knew or only knew as acquaintances beforehand. i'm not sure what i'd do or where i'd be without those friends in my life right now.

** (this next one is kinda out of place chronologically but it fits with the previous bullet so) all of the positive things going on at loumc has put me in a tough situation though.. i haven't really expressed this to too many people yet, but here goes.. being in seminary and involved in church ministry is preparing me for a future in the ministry.. and as far as a job goes, it'd be beneficial to my resume, experience, knowledge, preparation, and future to get a job in the ministry.. however, i can't see myself leaving live oak at any point in the near future. things are going so great and i couldn't imagine leaving that behind.. it would definitely have to be a God thing.. which is guess is the way it should be anyway taking a job in the ministry.. but because things are going so great at loumc, it's kept me from finishing and posting my ministry resume for other churches to see.. i keep putting it off and i think its largely because of the reasons i just stated.. so thats def an issue i'm currently dealing with and something i would greatly appreciate prayers for.

** went to boston for the 5th (or so) time, this time with my parents and grandmother (on my dad's side).. it was interesting having her along on the trip but it was nice to see derek & shelby again since i only get to see them once or twice a year.

** moved back to the parents house after living on my own for 5 years. i'm living out in the gameroom so i'm not under their roof, which def helps alot with me still having my own life/privacy, but its also def weird living back here after being gone for 5 years. its been an adjustment, but its been a nice adjustment for the most part. how long i stay here depends on how the job/school situation continues to play itself out but hopefully i won't have to stay for too terribly long. i enjoy the freedom and responsibility of having my own place.

** went on a 15 day mission trip to ecuador. it was my first time out of the country and it was definitely a great experience. i went with a group from Christ's Community made up mostly of college-aged peoples.. alot of whom were originally from judson so i already knew em quite well. anyhow, we worked with kids, hosted a kids camp, helped out at 2 saturday kids club events, spent 3 days in the jungle of ecuador.. ahh such a great trip. definitely an amazing experience and one i'll never forget.

** started working on my Masters of Divinity at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. it was a bit overwhelming at first having taken a semester off of school and this type of learning being completely different from most of what i had engaged in prior. met some great Christian brothers and sisters, and took some great classes in my first semester (intro greek, philosophy of religion, worship leadership, exploring the old testament and spiritual formation) i'm still waiting on most of my grades but i did get a B in Greek and a P in Sp. Form. i'm excited to see what all God has in store for the rest of my time at seminary, as He's already showed me a great deal in just this first semester.

** started playing tennis again. i forgot how much i loved to play. it took a while to get back in the swing of things (haha get it?!) but it's been a heck of a lot of fun and a nice break from school, etc. we started going every saturday morning for quite a while, but havent been in a few weeks with rain and busy schedules and all.. hopefully we'll get back in the routine of it. i miss playing.

all in all, its been a great year. there were definitely a great deal of low points mostly in the first half of the year, but everything has really turned around and i'm extremely thankful for where i am now. i have a few great new friends (especially 2) who mean the world to me and i'm glad we've been able to become really close (like brothers and sisters) in a relatively short amount of time. y'all know who you are (if y'all even read this.. come to think of it.. i don't think y'all do.. hmm..)

anyhow, that about concludes the year in review.. as the 2nd of half of this year (especially the most recent couple months) has been pretty great, i'm really excited to see what all 2010 has in store. stay tuned to find out. i know i will. hehe.

down we go

as of yesterday, i have officially completed my first semester at seminary. most of my classes had papers due last week instead of final exams (a 30-pager, a 15-pager (for the same class), and a 5-pager).. but i still had to take my Greek final (non-cumulative) and Worship Leadership final yesterday. it feels really nice to be finished with the first semester and have 14 hours behind me.. just awaiting the grades now =| haha.. its definitely weird readjusting to a 7 point grading scale.. i got so used to the 10-pointer that its weird thinking of an 85 as a C or whatever ya know..

next semester will be 13 hours (both low hour numbers due to this 1 hr. first year class i have to take).. so i'll be taking: Baptist Heritage, Logic & the Christian Faith, Intermediate Greek, Systematic Theology I, and Spiritual Formation (the first yr. class).. so i'm looking forward to getting started on those even though i know its not going to be easy at all haha.

in other news, life is going pretty great. not much to speak of, but theres not much to complain about either so i guess thats a good thing haha. been hanging out with friends alot lately so thats always a good thing too.. although i think i might not be hanging out with other friends quite enough.. ho well. it is what it is.

got some sweet Christmas parties and stuff coming up so those are always lots of fun. i've finished all my Christmas shopping, except for mi padre because i have NO idea what to get him.. any suggestions are greatly appreciated =) Derek & Shelby are coming into town about this time next week (23rd prolly) and stay here til after Christmas.. so that'll be nice to get to hang out with and see them for a while. i know it'll be a much needed break for Derek since he just finished up a project he's been working on for a little over a year :0

Purpose (1130 band) has been practicing up on our Christmas music lately.. getting ready for the Christmas Eve service (4:30) at the church which i'm getting pretty excited about playing.. its going to be great! i've never been to one of LO's Christmas Eve services but i always love those services in general.. just so festive and close-knit and all that good stuff.. =)

anyhow, i think thats pretty much it for now. i'll update again when my grades are posted.. see how good i did haha!

muchlove. trent.