i have now been school-less and job-less for one entire month. at the beginning, i didn't really notice how much free time i had.. all the holiday festivities were going on with christmas and new years, plus graduation and the crazy excursion to boston.. so my first truly "free" week was last week and i enjoyed it to its fullest.. i did absolutely nothing, played way too many video games, stayed up late, just acted like a complete bum.. and enjoyed every last second of it.
then monday came. video games were no longer appealing to me (and haven't been for the entire week), tv is getting dull and not entertaining me much, books lose my interest after a few short minutes.. basically, its hard to fill up a whole day with pointless, time-wasting activity. i have no commitments, no obligations, no nothing. just wake up.. find something to do to kill the day and go back to sleep. and none of it entertains me anymore. i need to get out of this apartment.
i've broken up errands into small duties.. meaning i have little errands to run each day, as opposed to getting them all done in one day. while that would feel extremely productive and make for a great day, i would then truly have absolutely nothing to do on the other days. today, i went to the post office to mail 2 documents, one an application, the other a thank you note. yesterday, i went to lsu to pick up 2 official transcripts to accompany the 3 applications i faxed from fedex kinko's to various employers (who knew faxing was so dang expensive?!)
yesterday was my first day back at lsu when school was in session and me there not as a student. actually, heck its the first time since spring testing (as a high school sr) that ive been to lsu when its in session and not been there as a student. the feeling of being finished hit me again when i was there yesterday. i saw a bunch of people walking around.. some excited to start a new semester, some still sleepy from not having re-adjusted their sleep schedules since the break. i thought of the first week enthusiasm, skepticism, and even anxiety felt for your new classes, new teachers, new faces. the pressure of seeing the syllabi, knowing what awaits you for the next 4 or so months of your life. i saw, and pictured, these thoughts on everyones faces.. and i was simply there. no anxiety over school work. no wondering what my next class will be.. whether this professor was putting on a show for the first day (whether positively or negatively).. i was simply there to handle business. i think the feeling would have been better had i had a job though.. i could have been there with no anxiety in my life whatsoever.
to return to my previous statement of "i need to get out of this apartment" also requires a look at my previous post entitled "Life Is Beautiful?" I understand that the majority of people, my friends included, work during the day. if they work at night, they sleep during the day. both of those provide no day-time relief for my symptoms (when did this turn into a dayquil commercial? hmm..) so during the day, i occupy my time with pointless nonsense (and redundancy). by night time, and i mean early night time, not this current time of night.. i am completely bored out of my mind.. seeking any sort of relief, any sort of escape from this repetitively bored state of existence. however, my friends, the ones that would hang out with me during the week, typically reside in the parish of livingston and don't have much incentive to drive out to BR just for me.. maybe i should provide more incentive.. hmm.. anyhow, so my night consists of even further boredom, leading to a great deal of ranting (as is exhibited through this post)
in closing (i know, finally! right?), i need something to do. something to occupy my time. i would love to stay busy the entire day and wonder where my free time went. at this point, it sounds like such a capital idea. people watching, eating, driving (not at the same time), catching up with old friends, anything really. heck, tennis would be nice! i need the exercise